Babies are People too

As a parent, I think a lot about what I want to implement regarding my child. He is just a baby, so there is time to think a lot about this. However, my husband and I have decided that since Thor is overwhelmed by big groups of people, we let him decide if he wants to go to someone. If they bring out their hands and he leans and reaches for them, we allow him to go to them, if not – we respect his decision.

20170704_134120This is one thing that my mother-in-law and I were on the same page about. She did the same thing with my husband and I really liked that we felt the same way regarding that. It is a great way that they can test out their own boundaries and learn to say “no” and have that “no” be respected. My mother-in-law has a bigger family and there are plenty of people wanting to hold the baby. However, after a bit and getting to know them, he begins to go to everyone.

My mother’s family is a different story. I specifically told my mom our rule and how important we felt this was. She completely agreed with me. My mom is typically good about listening to what I feel is important for my son. However, when it comes to her family – it all goes out the window. For my mom’s family, her sister is baby crazy. My aunt really had nothing to do with me until I got pregnant and the baby was on the way. Now, she always wants to hold him. It was no big deal when he was very little because he just liked to be held by everyone, but now that he is inching closer to that one year mark, he is a little pickier and groups overwhelm him because he doesn’t know or remember others. My mom hands him over to her at a Father’s Day lunch without him going to her. I was furious, but what was I going to do? Yell at my mom later and tell her that she needs to abide by what I specifically instruct? No. That isn’t going to help, no matter what. So, I back off and tell my mom that her sister has been really bothering me when it comes to my son. Mom brushes it off saying that her sister loves babies and never got to have anymore kids other than her only son.

Well, that’s no excuse for her to act baby crazy with an 8 month old little boy who wants nothing to do with her. So, yesterday at a family party, she reached out for my son. He was with my husband and Thor just stared at her blankly and didn’t put out his arms despite the fact that she did not get the hint. She continued to reach her arms out and Thor continued to stare blankly at her. I finally had to explain that we are allowing him to make his own calls. She was upset.

How can someone be upset when the parents are working on implementing something with their own child? I get that you’re family, but he doesn’t know you well enough. I’m not going to hand him over when he is just going to cry after a couple seconds of being in her arms. I find it extremely disrespectful as another person to have someone question my parenting only because they want to desperately hold a baby. Babies are wonderful to hold, but if they are old enough to understand when they want to go to someone and when they don’t – then that needs to be respected. Babies are people too. We just need to remember that.

Better Cat Mom or Human Mom?

Some days, I feel like I am a better cat mom than a human mom. Cats are easy. You leave out their food, make sure they have water refilled, clean the litter box, and and snuggle with them every now and then. A human mom is different than that, a little bit more goes into a human.

Sometimes I feel like a bad mom. Being a student and a mother are two different roles that are difficult enough on their own. However, I had two options when I became a mom. Work 50+ hours a week and put my son into daycare or go back to college for career and a cause that I am passionate about and put my loans into deferment. I opted for wanting to be involved in educating angsty American teenagers because that is important to me.

Some days, I feel overwhelmed. He wants up and down, has a full blown meltdown when I know he is tired and needs a nap, he screams if you leave him for a second, and if I am using the laptop – forget getting anything done without him standing and trying to touch the keyboard. He is a really easy baby, most of the time. He sleeps really well, he plays on his own extremely well, he can always find things to do, he is a great snuggler when he wants to be one, and he never fights a bottle when he is hungry. We manage to do a really good job together.

I do enjoy the days where my house is quiet and I do not have to tip-toe throughout the house. I like being able to focus on classwork and not worry about when he is going to wake up or getting as much done as I can before I hear his cry. I feel bad when I drop off my son for the day, I feel slight relief. I know that I can productive without feeling like I am trying to herd a bunch of cats.

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It is just a phase. He just wants to be held all the time, which comes from the teeth that are coming in. No one ever tells you that the first four are a piece of cake – it’s the rest that are hell.

I know that I am a really good cat mom, but I feel bad for needing a break from my son. I never think about needing a break from my cats. Then again, Loki enjoys sleeping on the bed I situated for them and Jax sleeps under the comforter on our bed most of the day. Sure, they sound like elephants when they chase each other up and down the hallway, but that is the only annoying thing they really do. The only doubting I did was when Jax was messing on the floor in the backroom and I knew that maybe I was neglecting his needs more than I should be. HeĀ is special after all. Cats are a breeze, which is probably why I like them so much.

This is just a phase with Thor. The teeth will come in, he will start to walk, and things will get easier – he will move onto the next phase, but we can work with that. The phases aren’t the aspects of motherhood that exhaust me. It is when he feels needy and needs mom all day and all night, when he screams bloody murder for a nap. Those are the moments that wear me out. But he always goes back to his usual independent self and his three hour naps twice a day. It is just getting past this little mood.

I do the best I can and that’s all I can do as a mom, right? At least I’m not a drug addict, alcoholic, or neglect my child. I mean, I could be a real bitch here. Secretly, I love being a mom. I love holding my son and watching him grow. Some days are just a little rough compared to others. That is when having a mother-in-law ten minutes away is a real benefit.

 

 

Six Weeks After Birth…and I have Goals!

It has been several weeks since my last post. Finding time to sit down and write with a growing little boy, who keeps me on my toes has been the most interesting.

My husband is a union laborer and is in between jobs, waiting for a call to another job. He had the Thanksgiving weekend off regardless, but has been home today helping with the baby and with the normal around the house to-dos.

There has been one major thing on my mind lately. My weight.

I was rather heavy at the time of my pregnancy anyway. I was depressed and living in situation that I was not happy in. My mother-in-law was in full control and I was working a job that was not even worth my time or energy after gaining a Bachelor’s from a prestigious Northwest college.

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Pic Credit: Google

I am still waiting for the weight to come off, listening to my doctor to not work out until she has cleared me due to a tear that happened when I delivered my son. My plan is to do the basic stuff in the living room to just get my body working and then start with a gym, whether it is the one here at my apartment complex or one elsewhere.

However, I know that I need to start eating better. Being pregnant, I was not cooking that much and my appetite was not the greatest. I lost weight and was looking fantastic, however, I had my son six weeks and several days ago and still sitting with a belly that I absolutely hate, making my clothes difficult to wear to a point. I am in between a small and medium size with leggings. It drives me insane.

Last week while hanging out at my best friend, Kelsey’s house, she introduced me to a cook book that was given to her: Thug Kitchen. It was a vegan cookbook that uses cuss words, but has healthy interesting recipes. The body does not only start with the workouts, but also in the kitchen.

I am hoping to get this body started and to really work on it. I will start slowly this week (once I am feeling better from whatever I have gotten) on 30 day thigh, butt, arm, and ab challenges. Then once I have figured out the gym situation, mix in cardio and weights.

I would love to find a gym that is affordable for my husband and I that have daycare for a 2 month old as well while we work out.

Before my husband and I started dating, I got into a lifestyle change. I would go to the gym at my college every night around 8 and then make dinner, eating mostly gluten free or Dave’s Killer Bread when I ate bread. I felt fantastic and I want to go back to that feeling more than ever.

So my own motto lately has been: You want a change? Do it.

So. Do it.

Hello There…

Hello whoever chooses to read my blog!

I am a twenty four year old new mom. My son was born almost three weeks ago and I am attempting to figure out this new life of motherhood.

My life was one way until this little boy, who I love with all of my heart, was born. Motherhood has been one thing I can handle. For some reason, while it can get to be overwhelming – I can handle it. It has been everything else. My husband, my mother in law, figuring out my place in this world and getting everything up and ready for me to start post-grad work in January.

I have been on the fence of postpartum depression. Most days are great, however, there are the days that get dark. The days where I want to pick up this baby and run to my mom and dad’s house to hide out, to gain my footing before I go back to the home I have attempted to build. This blog is my way of getting out my frustrations and issues, of figuring out how I feel.

I will get really real here and discuss personal problems, which is why I will never release my name, where I live, or anything that may identify me.

So, hopefully you enjoy my confessions…